Wedding Dreams Crushed (and Diverted)

I’m sure you’ve heard “I can’t afford my own taste” or “Champagne taste, Beer Budget” I’m that girl. I really consider myself thrifty and I don’t believe I have expensive taste. I’m the girl who won’t buy an article of clothing for more than $60 or jewelry for more than $15. But when it comes to weddings, I have expensive taste. I’ve had this conversation with Raoul many times, him trying to tell me I’m asking for a lot right now and I’m trying to say it’s my first and only wedding and I deserve it and him saying he wants me to have my dream wedding but I have to decide if I want to marry him or impress everyone. The conversation always ends with me get my feelings hurt and feeling like an awful person. I was willing to budge on almost everything.

 That Jim Heljm dress I’ve had on my desktop for ever so I could show everyone – I can live without.


A big, fresh bouquets of sweet smelling peonies and lush centerpieces that make the place smell like a fairy land. I can live without.



Fireworks at the end of the night and us making our exit in a hot air balloon inspired by a scene on Mont Cristo I saw when I was 12? Ok, I knew this was a stretch but I can live without it too.


There are seriously a ton of things I’ve lusted after thanks to wedding porn but I will live without. That’s why I felt I was being fair in asking for one thing. My perfect venue. As a designer it’s very difficult for me to find a space I absolutely love. Even my own home gets criticized, although mainly because I can’t afford to do it the way it should be done.  When R and I first started talking about marriage I knew it would be in Bahamas even though he was willing to have his family come to the states for the sake of my families’ budget. But being the beach girl that I am, I knew the yucky beach in Virginia would be nothing compared to the beautiful beach is Bahamas. After my first cruise I refuse to let water that’s not clear go higher than my calves so I couldn’t imagine having a trash the dress session there. So since I knew it would be Bahamas and I was stuck in Virginia for a long time, this impatient girl took to the internet so I could have a picture to go with my wedding day dreams. I discovered a destination wedding blog that I became addicted to and by way of a few ladies weddings started seeing venues but none that interested me. I really don’t remember how I stumbled across it but one day I found “it”

The perfect venue. Beach Club Café.

The outside patio in the evening / Source

The view walking in / Source

The view from the water / Source

The indoor dining area / Source

Another view of the indoor dining area / Source

I mentioned it to R but secretly obsessed over it for the next few months. On my next visit to Bahamas I stayed with friends of R’s who lived in Sandyport, directly across the street from – you guessed it Beach Club. I was pretty excited to see it from the outside as we went to the beach and disappointed to find out that because I had gone during Easter and the surrounding holidays, it was closed most of the time. On Monday before leaving I convinced R to stop by even though they were closed and the gentleman let us take a look around. I was able to take some pictures and fall even more in love. This place reflects my personal style so much. It’s neutral, with rustic décor and has beach chic accents. Having a wedding here would mean no need for décor. It’s absolutely perfect. The gentleman told us it would be $6,000 to rent the place out and we could use them as a caterer or bring in our own to save money. I hung my head because I knew the possibilities but you don’t turn your back on your first love. At least you shouldn’t.

Outside Patio Source


The covered patio, you can see Raoul looking around (Personal Photo)

The view of the water and pier from the patio (Personal Photo)

A few weeks later my mother visited the island and R took her to have lunch at Beach Club, while impressed with the atmosphere they weren’t impressed by the overpriced food. They spent $40 for two beers and a small pizza they split. But my mother talked to the owner who remembered me and told her we could also rent the restaurant out for half a day for $3,500. R said it was a possibility and I had my dream once again.

Fast forward to months later when we’re getting serious about this wedding talk. I realized with R just coming out of the off season and me just starting a job after being unemployed for most of the year that were a long way off from saving for this wedding. Especially since my car died and I’m looking at getting a car payment which I haven’t had in years and I still would like to have a reception in Virginia. So I put on my big girl panties and realized I’d rather end this long distance relationship and marry him sooner than wait until we save enough money for my dream wedding. The daydreams of seeing him when I get off work, us having dinner together and waking up next to each other were far more important than that gorgeous perfect dream wedding. We would still have a beautiful wedding because I would still put my heart into it and we would be surrounded by our family and friends celebrating what’s most important –us uniting our lives. I accepted I don’t get everything I want and the hunt for a venue began. Again.

Did you have a hard time giving up something for your wedding day?

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